Friday, January 25, 2008

She Seems Happy

T really seems excited and happy about moving to Maryland with her dad. I know she doesn't like sharing me with B and friends, and my life. I was always there for her and the last four years I've been pulled away a little more each year. She isn't used to him being there a lot. So maybe him there a little is enough? I don't know.

It's breaking my heart. I keep thinking of things I need to tell her. Stupid stuff, like make sure you change your razor regularly. And I need to get her a better facial cleanser, show her how to use it. I keep forgetting her dad isn't a monster to her like he is to me.

I have by no means been a perfect mom to her. I've done my best. I have regrets. I didn't take the time I should have with her. She frustrates me so much I just couldn't deal with her sometimes. Maybe it's better she goes to her Dad. My heart has been through so much the last couple of years. I don't think it can take another hit.

No comments: