Delete Button

I typed out a long post, but then I realized it was an incoherent rant over how awful my kids have been lately so I deleted it. They have been awful lately, but not the whole time. And I really don't know what to do about it, but just typing it out seemed to help, so I'm good now.

Something is bothering my seven year old. Maybe she's suffering deep buried separation issues. Or maybe she just hasn't had enough sleep. Seriously, I'm that unsure of what the problem is. LoL. I've been raising my voice too much with them again. I hate when I do that, and I work on it. But at some point in the madness I lose it. I'm human. Sue me. I am like so many others. A victim of our childhood. Don't get me wrong I'm not using it as an excuse, just an explanation.

I didn't have a horrible childhood, and my mother did fairly well. I just really did not get a clear idea of what proper child rearing is. I was with my mom until I was 13 and she was probably over-indulgent. Tired single moms let more go because they aren't there often. Then as a teen with my dad and step bitch mom, I was punished for every little thing and not allowed to do much when I wasn't. I pretty much missed the fun part of high school. Opposite extremes, and no idea what the middle ground should be.

But I do my best, I read "the experts". I ask other moms, etc. And most of the time I do well. But there's always those days when I feel like I have turned into Joy on My Name is Earl. (If you have not seen that show, go for it. Hilariously trashy funny. And I can imitate Joy's accent pretty well!) But in real life it's not funny, it's tacky. And I really don't like it.

*sigh*

So I keep working on it, and maybe my kids will be better than me at it, and theirs better than them. And so on, and so forth. Nobody is perfect, right? I do what I tell my kids to do. I try my best.