My Current Theme Song

I've always liked this song, but never really paid a lot of attention to the lyrics. Until tonight. They so fit my life right now. And the video is just awesomely weird. Lyrics below the video. ;)








Fighter lyrics

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'Cause you made that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff
Time is up, 'cause I've had enough

You were there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmm hmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong

'Cause if it wasn't for all
That you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in on a good thing
Before I'd realized your game

I heard you're going 'round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave

After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you're wanting to hurt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh uh, it's over

'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I know
Turn out to be unjust so cruel?
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth

You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself through
Living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember

Thought I would forget
But I remember
Yes I remember
I'll remember

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter.

Eye Candy ~ To Cheer Me Up

Vin Diesel in Riddick













Chris Pine, the new Captain Kirk


















For those of you that like girls, the beautiful Angelina Jolie. This shot is from Wanted, kickass movie. ;)

Fiction Friday

She sits in bed holding yet another drink. Three weeks ago one was enough to put her to sleep, now it takes two. When will she be normal again? When will the bad dreams end?

Hours of lying awake. Horrible images going through her mind. It's not real. It didn't happen! Right?

But she doesn't know. She started drinking to stop the nightmares. But before the nightmares were the blackouts. Evenings she didn't remember, hours erased from her memories.

Then the dreams began. Full of blood and screaming. The sound of breaking bones and tearing flesh.

She's afraid to watch the news now. After the first reports of the murders from across town. Men mutilated in their beds. A week ago the news said the murders stopped. One a night for two weeks then nothing. The police think the killer moved on.

So she sits in bed holding yet another drink.

And the monster sleeps...

Moving on...

School is back in! The holidays are over. Dance classes begin again next week. Life is returning to normal. T is going back to dance this year, I couldn't be more excited. Except that it is twice a week and I am going to have to rearrange my workouts and we are going to be so busy! But that's ok. I'm glad she's interested in things again. I thought she would want to take piano, she kept jumping back and forth between things and finally settled on the one thing I was sure she wouldn't want to do! LoL. She will also start getting more exercise. Our middle schools down here only have P.E. for six weeks during the entire year. That on top of us living in an apartment and it currently being winter, she doesn't get nearly as much moving around as she should. This will balance things out. She can even practice stretches and exercises at home on the days she doesn't have dance. We are also due to find an orthodontist. That will have to wait until next month. I have to pay off Christmas first. ;)

Little B is still in dance, and during T's classes I plan to spend time focusing on her. She gets left out so much. Which is twice as frustrating when T claims that it's all about B. We spend way more time doing stuff for T and focusing on T. She just doesn't see it.

B's birthday is tomorrow. She is opening a few gifts then and the rest at her party next week. It is her first big party with a bunch of kids. We've invited about 10 including cousins, I'm hoping at least 6 or 7 show. It's hard to get people to come to parties right after the holidays, which is why I bumped it more than a week after her actual birthday.

Am I Living in a Sitcom?

The other week I got so mad over something I could not speak words. I was just "fuck the fucking fuckity fucker fucks fuck fucking fuckity fuck."

Seriously. I could not remember any words other than various forms of the word "fuck".

My life is just one redundant moment after another. Irony around every turn. A movie quote for every character. I am completely clueless about the next scene. And I really feel like the whole world knows whats going on and is wondering why I can't figure it out. Nothing really fits either. A character this week, may be completely different next week. And everyone is scratching their head going, "Wait a minute, in last week's episode that person was nice, why is he/she such an asshat/bitch this week?" "When did that person stop talking to everyone?" "How come we are seeing this character that disappeared a season and a half ago?"

And I could go on and on and on. But I won't because I'm pretty sure that little habit of mine pisses people off. :/

I have brought this little subject up with my daughter once, and a few days later something weird happened and she said "No wonder you think you are living in a sitcom!" Perhaps if I just keep laughing at myself the whole thing won't seem so ridiculous.

Busy

I am a very bad blogger lately. It's pretty bad when you are so busy, you are trying to schedule time to CLEAN THE TOILETS. Seriously, I'm that busy!

Wow

It's been a month since I posted here. And I can't bring myself to care. My moods are flip flopping terribly the last couple of weeks. The holidays have been hard for a few years now, but this year seems harder...

Don't feel like finishing.

Cuteness!

I found the cutest site EVER! It's called Zoo Borns and I found this picture there. (I hope they don't mind I borrowed it, since I did put a linky poo to it and all.)

The one where Nathan Fillion is awesome!

Race for the Cure

This past Saturday was the 5K I signed up for. The top woman was 28 years old, chip time 20:34. In my age group I was 135 of 194 women. My chip time 35:45, gun time 36:03. Considering I am less than three years from the next age group I think that's pretty good. We must also consider that a year ago I would have dropped dead halfway through. ;)

Impatience

I am trying very hard with my patience lately. I have a ton of Christmas crafts on sale on my Etsy and Artfire accounts. (See sidebar, refresh for more artfire choices.) I only put them up over the last couple of weeks, and it is only October, but I want something to sell! My luck, it will all sell at the same time. LoL I'm hoping things start going soon though, I wanted to use the money for Christmas, or at least little B's birthday (weeks after Christmas). I was using this to distract me from other things I can't do anything about only now this is frustrating me too. hehe. Ok, on to finding other things to frustrate me in order to forget about the things already frustrating me...

Christmas is closer than you think!

Holiday wreaths, unique gifts, and holiday ornaments coming soon!!!

KatEyes





Unique Gifts

KatEyes





Unique Gifts

Ch ch ch changes

I was thinking about changes today. And how things seem to be always in motion. Just four years ago I had not even met some of the people that are most important to me right now. I was a suburbanite SUV driving housewife.

I can't even say that with a straight face. That's how weird it seems! But it wasn't me. It was never me. I never fit into the mold people kept trying to cram me into. And now I have people I am close to who don't try to change me or fit me into a certain way. Even though they may be completely different than me. Opposites attract and all that.

And I am unashamedly me. I dress how I want, I act how I want, I do what I want. I am very comfortable with my life right now. It isn't all smiles and sunshine, but it's good.

And yet, things keep changing. Where will we all be another four years from now? I don't know. But I know what key players in my life I plan to keep around. Great friends and important people who I can't imagine not speaking to regularly. I will go to great lengths to keep these few people around. (Physically and virtually, I have a few bloggy friends I would track down should they disappear on me.) I am pretty sure they feel the same way.

I wanted to have some more fiction up soon, but the writing hits me sporadically lately. I'll post when it hits again.

The Queen's Meme #9

Who
is easy to love? ~ my girls
do you just wanna smack? ~ Asshats. All of 'em.
do you trust? ~ Only my closest friends, of which there are very few.
do you talk to when you're alone? ~ myself as usual.


What....

dangerous things do you do while driving? ~ Look at the clock. Seriously, I almost wrecked glancing at the clock once. No problem on the phone, changing cds, dealing with kids, eating, drinking, texting. I go to check the time which is right on the dash, and boom some dumbass stops suddenly in front of me.
are you allergic to? ~ The very air we breathe.
is Satan's last name? ~ Smith
is the last thing that moved you? ~ Breakfast at Tiffany's. I watched it four times this weekend.
is the freakiest thing in your house? ~ Tristin. Seriously. So freaky she would be amused by this answer.

When.....

is it time to turn over a new leaf? ~ When the old one falls apart.
will you be all that you can be? ~ I am always all I can be for the moment. Can't be too much at once.
is enough enough? ~ almost all the time
do you go to the dark side? ~ Who do you think made the damn cookies?


Where....

are your pants? ~ on me. Well, one pair, the others are in the drawer, and closet, and laundry room.
is your last will and testament? ~ Yeah, I need one of those.
is your junk food stash? ~ I don't do that.
is Carmen Sandiego? ~ Not on the dark side. Look somewhere else.


Why.....

was the Lone Ranger alone? ~ He wasn't, Tonto was always with him.
was The Scarlet Letter scarlet? ~ Because the author was an unimaginative bore. Seriously, I hate that book.
are musicians sexy and plumbers not? ~ Xmichra had the best answer for this, I just can't think of anything good!
are there no seat belts on school buses? ~ This has confounded me for years. And they get the worst damn drivers too!

Would you....

swim the English Channel for a doughnut and coffee? If not that, what? ~ No, I'm not much of a swimmer.
forgive someone who deliberately hurt you? ~ Nope.
rather believe a lie if it hurt you less than the truth? ~ No, I want the truth whether I can handle it or not.
you still be alive if you were sucked out of an airplane window? Would you just float around in space for while? ~ I would freak out completely.

The Queen's Meme #8

Warning: Hide the children!There are love shenanigans in the dungeon.


Welcome to The Queen's Meme #8.
Step out of the box. Be creative. Have fun!
And please, stay out of the dungeon.

I've tried to avoid this subject. It is the fickle fodder of many a meme these days. Romance, s*x, relationships and breakups are really nobody's business. Wouldn't you say? Or perhaps it's the questions that are too personal and a bit juvenile at times. Middle school smooching is not exactly the end all and be all of civilization. (Is it? I don't know. I seem to have forgotten.) To tell you the truth, I'm getting just a little sick of all the love shenanigans going on in the dungeon down below. I can hear you. You are all just a wee bit too happy if you ask me. If I didn't know better I'd swear you want to stay!
But seriously, we could all use a little lot of romance in our lives. I promise not to ask questions that would make your mother blush. I suggest you tell her not to read your blog tomorrow.

Bloggingham Love Shack (aka The Romance Meme)

1. What is the craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love?
~Moved out of town away from friends and family. Unfortunately it turned out badly.

2. How much mystery should there be in a relationship? Is it a good thing or not? ~Enough. Who wants to know everything about anyone? I believe in openness with one's partner, but only to a certain degree.

3. Is there someone in the blogosphere you'd like to get to know more intimately? Have you been too shy to ask? Let me help you. Write a 3 sentence anonymous blove letter to them in this meme.
Leave a link if you dare. (I promise not to tell!)
~Nope

4. Describe a "perfect evening" with the one you love.
~That question is a little presumptuous, but assuming I had someone to have a perfect evening with, I would start with my kids being somewhere else for the night. Dinner out, a movie, or a show! I've never been to a show. Then home for staying up late and sleeping late the next morning. ;)

5. If you are in a relationship, describe the one thing that makes it work well for you. If you are not in a relationship, do you want to be? If so, what type of romance are you looking for? What would it look like in your life?
~I would very much like to be in a nice comfortable-know-where-I-stand relationship.

6. If you had to choose between having good s*x (I told you not to let your mother read this) OR intelligent conversation on a regular basis, which would you choose and why?
~I very much like both and I am very certain I *can* get both. But if I had to chose I suppose sex because I get conversation online.

and finally.....a purely selfish question:

7. I've got the Bloggingham Blues. What type of man is right for Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt? Do any of you see love in her foreseeable future? What do you suggest I do to spice up my love life? What am I doing wrong????!
~I'm afraid I am new to the kingdom and not sure how to answer this. But don't give up hope! :)

Save the ta-tas!

I have signed up for a 5K run in October. If you would like to donate in my name you can do so here. Most of the money stays locally in Knoxville, TN but 25% goes to breast cancer research in general.

I am running a timed race, and this will be the first of many. I'm nervous, excited, and scared to death. What if I'm the last one in like when I was a kid? There are going to be a ton of non-timed people walking and such so I guess I won't be last. But I have crazy flashbacks from gym class as a kid. Me, athletic? Who knew.

I still have breathing issues when running. I was told at an expo that I may have exercise induced asthma. I would need an inhaler ONLY before running or doing some other aerobic type thing. I go for an appointment to be tested next Tuesday morning. So we will see. I think I would be relived to find out I do. It would be much worse if I simply cannot run a mile without walking part of the time.

I will update everyone next week. :)