I'm depressed. It happens from time to time. Usually it only lasts a couple of days. Lately I have been thinking about people who do whatever they want, whenever they want. Dishonest people. People who refuse to follow the rules. Is it just me, or do they seem to be the ones who are happy? Now I don't mean really bad people like murderers. I mean the type of people who lie, cheat, and break little rules to get what they want. Sometimes it is only moral rules they break.
I consider myself an honest person. I'm not a good liar anyway. I follow rules. I do what I am SUPPOSED to do. And yet, I'm the one who is not trusted. Not trusted by those that I don't trust because I have caught them in lies, I know they are dishonest.
It brings back memories of my teen years when I lived with my dad and step-mom. They never trusted me, flat out told me they didn't believe what I was telling them sometimes even though I was telling the truth. It just wasn't what they wanted to hear. I still don't know why. It wasn't like I had been caught lying to them. They just assumed when I moved in that I was a liar. And years later it turned out they were the deceitful ones. The ones with secrets.
I am 33 years old. But sometimes I feel like I am still that girl. Young, confused, alone, empty.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Mural
This tag is based on the idea of a wall mural. We start with a plain brick wall and people add something to it and pass it on. What you draw on is up to you. It can be related to your web-site. Preferably include your web-site URL in it. Each drawing does not have to be isolated from other peoples ones, overlapping images will look good. Try to use about 10% of the area.
The image is 400×300 and is a PNG file. Save the file to your computer and add in your artwork and post on your blog. Then tag other people to do the same. It is preferable to leave the file as PNG file rather than convert to JPG otherwise the quality is going to suffer over multiple edits.
Tag History (Add your URL here. Please include the URL to your post that contains the image rather than just your main page):
1. ben.run
2. halfpie
3. dee.run
4. xmichra
5. kat
If you are number 10, then please leave a comment at ben.run giving a link to the final mural.
I'm not going to tag anyone specific, but if you want to do it leave a comment.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
A little about me.
I saw this at Xmichra's blog, and I thought it looked fun.
WARNING: Some questions may be a little TMI. If you don't wanna know, don't read it. ;)
1. Given a homeless guy more than R5? (I checked and this is a little less than a US dollar) Yes, but not much more.
2. Spent more than R500 on a bf/gf's gift or a night out. (About $83) No, it's the guy's job to pay.
3. Had sex with more than one person in a day? No
4. Hooked up with a good friends bf/gf behind their back? Yes, but in my defense, I was a little drunk.
5. Dated two people at once? No
6. Actually met someone that you met online that you didn't know before? No.
7. (deleted)
8. Failed more than one class? Yes, but not many.
9. Took someone's virginity when you weren't a virgin? Yes. *blushing*
10. Hooked up with someone from a different race? No.
11. Ran around naked outside in the daytime/night time? Hasn't everyone?
12. Scuba dived? No
13. Snorkled? No
14. Dated someone you didn't want your friends to meet? No
15. Got your stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning / drugs etc? No
16. Threw up from alcohol? Only once.
17. Been suspended from school? No
18. Kissed someone of the same sex? No
19. Wore no underwear? Of course.
20. Paint anyone's toenails? Only my daughters, and maybe my sister.
21. Met someone famous? Troy Aikman-he's a complete ASS! I was serving beer at the celebrity softball game in Nashville one year, he had a mouthfull of food and actually GRUNTED and pointed at the kind he wanted. I wanted to meet one of those hot singers, but all I got was a dim-witted football player.
22. Saved someone's life? No.
23. Seen someone die? No.
24. Killed someone? No.
25. Been in a physical fight? No.
26. Hooked up with someone 10yrs older or younger than you? No.
27. Been arrested? No.
28. Spent the night in jail? No.
29. Been in more than three car accidents in a year? No.
30. Had sex outside? Duh. A couple of times.
31. Given or gotten road head? Yes.
32. Had sex in your house when your/his/her parents were home? Yes and yes.
33. Had phone sex? No.
34. Been turned off by someone's personal hygiene "down there"? No and EEEEWWWW.
35. Watched Jerry Springer? Just part of one.
36. Had sex without a condom? Yes.
37. Had a one night stand? Yes, and it wasn't all that great.
38. Flirted with a teacher? No
39. Had sex on the beach? The drink, yes. The act, no.
40. Watched porn with someone else? Yes and I didn't like it.
41. Been fired from a job? Yes, but it was a telemarketing job, and I don't think it should count.
42. Danced on top of a bar? No
43. Had sex somewhere in your high school? No
44. Bought a vibrator? No
45. Been in a porn shop? Yes, and it was sooooo embarassing.
46. Been in a dance competition? No
47. Had a threesome? No
48. Spent more than one night in a hospital? Yes, two cesareans.
49. What color are your kitchen plates? Pale yellow with blue trim and flowers.
50. What book are you reading now? None right now. Who has time to read?
51. Favorite magazine? Redbook.
52. Baked Goods? Birthday cake, toll house chocolate chip cookies and fresh yeast bread with honey butter.
53. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? Five more minutes!
54. How many rings before you answer the phone? Two or three
55. Favorite TV shows? Charmed, L&O Criminal Intent, Crossing Jordan, CSI, Reba.
56. Ketchup or mustard? burgers, hotdogs and sandwiches-mustard. fries and onion rings-ketchup
57. Hamburgers or Hot dogs? hamburgers
58. The best place you have ever been? Disney World! It really is the happiest place on earth.
59. The most amazing sight? My babies right after they were born.
60. What wall paper is on your computer right now? A dragon.
No tags on this one, but if you decide to do it leave me a comment so I can come see!
WARNING: Some questions may be a little TMI. If you don't wanna know, don't read it. ;)
1. Given a homeless guy more than R5? (I checked and this is a little less than a US dollar) Yes, but not much more.
2. Spent more than R500 on a bf/gf's gift or a night out. (About $83) No, it's the guy's job to pay.
3. Had sex with more than one person in a day? No
4. Hooked up with a good friends bf/gf behind their back? Yes, but in my defense, I was a little drunk.
5. Dated two people at once? No
6. Actually met someone that you met online that you didn't know before? No.
7. (deleted)
8. Failed more than one class? Yes, but not many.
9. Took someone's virginity when you weren't a virgin? Yes. *blushing*
10. Hooked up with someone from a different race? No.
11. Ran around naked outside in the daytime/night time? Hasn't everyone?
12. Scuba dived? No
13. Snorkled? No
14. Dated someone you didn't want your friends to meet? No
15. Got your stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning / drugs etc? No
16. Threw up from alcohol? Only once.
17. Been suspended from school? No
18. Kissed someone of the same sex? No
19. Wore no underwear? Of course.
20. Paint anyone's toenails? Only my daughters, and maybe my sister.
21. Met someone famous? Troy Aikman-he's a complete ASS! I was serving beer at the celebrity softball game in Nashville one year, he had a mouthfull of food and actually GRUNTED and pointed at the kind he wanted. I wanted to meet one of those hot singers, but all I got was a dim-witted football player.
22. Saved someone's life? No.
23. Seen someone die? No.
24. Killed someone? No.
25. Been in a physical fight? No.
26. Hooked up with someone 10yrs older or younger than you? No.
27. Been arrested? No.
28. Spent the night in jail? No.
29. Been in more than three car accidents in a year? No.
30. Had sex outside? Duh. A couple of times.
31. Given or gotten road head? Yes.
32. Had sex in your house when your/his/her parents were home? Yes and yes.
33. Had phone sex? No.
34. Been turned off by someone's personal hygiene "down there"? No and EEEEWWWW.
35. Watched Jerry Springer? Just part of one.
36. Had sex without a condom? Yes.
37. Had a one night stand? Yes, and it wasn't all that great.
38. Flirted with a teacher? No
39. Had sex on the beach? The drink, yes. The act, no.
40. Watched porn with someone else? Yes and I didn't like it.
41. Been fired from a job? Yes, but it was a telemarketing job, and I don't think it should count.
42. Danced on top of a bar? No
43. Had sex somewhere in your high school? No
44. Bought a vibrator? No
45. Been in a porn shop? Yes, and it was sooooo embarassing.
46. Been in a dance competition? No
47. Had a threesome? No
48. Spent more than one night in a hospital? Yes, two cesareans.
49. What color are your kitchen plates? Pale yellow with blue trim and flowers.
50. What book are you reading now? None right now. Who has time to read?
51. Favorite magazine? Redbook.
52. Baked Goods? Birthday cake, toll house chocolate chip cookies and fresh yeast bread with honey butter.
53. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? Five more minutes!
54. How many rings before you answer the phone? Two or three
55. Favorite TV shows? Charmed, L&O Criminal Intent, Crossing Jordan, CSI, Reba.
56. Ketchup or mustard? burgers, hotdogs and sandwiches-mustard. fries and onion rings-ketchup
57. Hamburgers or Hot dogs? hamburgers
58. The best place you have ever been? Disney World! It really is the happiest place on earth.
59. The most amazing sight? My babies right after they were born.
60. What wall paper is on your computer right now? A dragon.
No tags on this one, but if you decide to do it leave me a comment so I can come see!
Friday, January 13, 2006
A Quickie
I was talking to a friend today about Half-Nekkid Thursday and how it is followed by Fiction Friday. Only I had a little slip of the tongue and said "Friction Friday". Talk about your Freudian Slips!
Scroll down for this week's Fiction Friday.
Scroll down for this week's Fiction Friday.
Fiction Friday
I first saw them in the evening light. He was boyishly handsome with dark curly hair and dimples. The woman at his side was pretty as well. She had long straight black hair and high cheekbones, a descendant of this country's natives perhaps. I rushed to the hall as they entered the house. Then paced nervously as the toured the downstairs. Finally they ascended the staircase and I was able to get a closer look. He was at least six feet tall maybe a bit more. She was about a foot shorter and I looked straight into her soft brown eyes. She was smaller than the last three women to come here, but younger. I hoped her body would be strong enough.
I rushed towards her using all my force to propel her backwards down the stairs. I dimly recall hearing the man yell her name. She landed at the bottom on her side. I kneeled next to her, she was still breathing, but barely. The man joined us and rolled her to her back. There was only a small amount of blood on her temple. That was good, the other three had bled so much their bodies could not last. He had a phone with him and he called for help.
Finally her spirit left her body. The man cried out again and began pressing on her chest. The others hadn't done that, perhaps it would make a difference. Her spirit looked away from the living couple and looked at me. "Who are you?"
"I am your guide. It is your time to leave this place. Do you see a light?"
"Yes, but I don't want to leave Bryan!" She began crying.
"It is your time. You must hurry before the light fades."
She hesitated a second longer then gasped "I see my grandmother." She was looking somewhere behind me, I couldn't see who she spoke of or the light. "Go to her, quickly!"
As she passed me she thanked me. I felt a twinge of guilt then. I was no guide, but I did know if she didn't hurry the light would fade. I knew the long dark years of loneliness here when nobody can see you.
The man was still pressing on her chest and breathing into her. As I entered her body I felt a moment of pain, then darkness.
There were voices and something beeping. The light was so bright it took a moment for me to focus. The man from the house talking with another man in a white coat. He looked like a doctor. I tried to sit up, but the pain in my head prevented it. I must have made some sound because they both looked over at me.
"Anna, you're awake!" He looked different here in this brighter world. The doctor checked me and began asking me questions. I couldn't answer them truthfully, so I simply feigned ignorance.
I was beginning to grow used to the man called Bryan. He looked so worried and it was my fault. "I'm sorry, please don't be mad."
"It's alright darling, but I need to talk to the doctor now." They left the room and a nurse came in. Everyone was so nice to me at the hospital, I could tell they felt sorry for me.
Over the next few months it was all explained to me. Bryan was my husband, we had only been married a year. He was so kind and eventually didn't even ask about what he first called my personality changes. But then I know how to please a husband. I did it for four years before my last husband finally pushed me too hard and I ended up at the bottom of that same staircase Anna died on. Bryan is kind and gentle. Loving and taking care of him will be no problem. He even confessed last night how happy he is that I have decided I want children after all. Anna didn't know how good she had it.
I rushed towards her using all my force to propel her backwards down the stairs. I dimly recall hearing the man yell her name. She landed at the bottom on her side. I kneeled next to her, she was still breathing, but barely. The man joined us and rolled her to her back. There was only a small amount of blood on her temple. That was good, the other three had bled so much their bodies could not last. He had a phone with him and he called for help.
Finally her spirit left her body. The man cried out again and began pressing on her chest. The others hadn't done that, perhaps it would make a difference. Her spirit looked away from the living couple and looked at me. "Who are you?"
"I am your guide. It is your time to leave this place. Do you see a light?"
"Yes, but I don't want to leave Bryan!" She began crying.
"It is your time. You must hurry before the light fades."
She hesitated a second longer then gasped "I see my grandmother." She was looking somewhere behind me, I couldn't see who she spoke of or the light. "Go to her, quickly!"
As she passed me she thanked me. I felt a twinge of guilt then. I was no guide, but I did know if she didn't hurry the light would fade. I knew the long dark years of loneliness here when nobody can see you.
The man was still pressing on her chest and breathing into her. As I entered her body I felt a moment of pain, then darkness.
There were voices and something beeping. The light was so bright it took a moment for me to focus. The man from the house talking with another man in a white coat. He looked like a doctor. I tried to sit up, but the pain in my head prevented it. I must have made some sound because they both looked over at me.
"Anna, you're awake!" He looked different here in this brighter world. The doctor checked me and began asking me questions. I couldn't answer them truthfully, so I simply feigned ignorance.
I was beginning to grow used to the man called Bryan. He looked so worried and it was my fault. "I'm sorry, please don't be mad."
"It's alright darling, but I need to talk to the doctor now." They left the room and a nurse came in. Everyone was so nice to me at the hospital, I could tell they felt sorry for me.
Over the next few months it was all explained to me. Bryan was my husband, we had only been married a year. He was so kind and eventually didn't even ask about what he first called my personality changes. But then I know how to please a husband. I did it for four years before my last husband finally pushed me too hard and I ended up at the bottom of that same staircase Anna died on. Bryan is kind and gentle. Loving and taking care of him will be no problem. He even confessed last night how happy he is that I have decided I want children after all. Anna didn't know how good she had it.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
I found this quiz at Xmichra's place.
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
| You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.  |
Monday, January 09, 2006
Eye Candy ~ with a theme
Don't you just love a man in a Stetson?
Tim McGraw
Kenny Chesney (he's from around these parts, ya know)
Brad Pitt, yummy as always.
Tim McGraw
Kenny Chesney (he's from around these parts, ya know)
Brad Pitt, yummy as always.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Tagged again!
I've been tagged by Xmichra who was tagged by Michael.
This looks like a fun one. Be sure to go visit the other people who have done this too!
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot.
1. Nickle Annie
2. Smiling through the cracks
3. Michael
4. Xmichra
5. Kat
Then you select five people to pass this on to.
I choose:
1. Amber
2. Rae Ann
3. Sierrabella
4. Kaliblue
5. Hizzle Thizzle
Whew! That's a lot of links!
What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago I was between marriages and making up for lost time. I was pretty young when I married the first time. I had a fun six months, and I can say I never went too wild. By January 1996 it was getting a little boring. I was working two jobs (accounts receivable clerk by day, cashier at Goody's by night) and going out all the other nights, I lost too much weight. I met my current husband in Febuary 1996 just after Valentine's day.
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Chocolate!
2. Salsa and tortillas
3. Cinnibon mini bons
4. Milkshakes
5. Coke floats
Five songs you know all the lyrics to: (only 5?)
1. Half the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge.
2. Most of Madanna's songs.
3. Way too many Disney Princess songs.
4. Enough Reba songs to go hoarse.
5. I would do anything for love by Meatloaf
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Pay off all debts
2. TRAVEL
3. Set up college funds for my babies.
4. Donate to every Animal and Environmental organization I could find. (I'm a closet hippie)
5.Buy me Hire me a young hot gardener. ;)
Five bad habits:
1. Nail biting.
2. Talking to myself while working. (But I almost never answer, do I? Nope I don't.)
3. Staying on the computer too much.
4. Junk food!
5. Staying up too late.
Five things you like doing:
1. Doing stuff with my girls.
2. BLOGGING!
3. Reading
4. Going to the movies.
5. Staying up too late.
Five favorite toys:
1. Computer! duh
2. Digital camera
3. My Ipod
4. My new webcam.
5. I don't have enough toys!
This was fun! Hope everyone I tagged enjoys it!
This looks like a fun one. Be sure to go visit the other people who have done this too!
Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot.
1. Nickle Annie
2. Smiling through the cracks
3. Michael
4. Xmichra
5. Kat
Then you select five people to pass this on to.
I choose:
1. Amber
2. Rae Ann
3. Sierrabella
4. Kaliblue
5. Hizzle Thizzle
Whew! That's a lot of links!
What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago I was between marriages and making up for lost time. I was pretty young when I married the first time. I had a fun six months, and I can say I never went too wild. By January 1996 it was getting a little boring. I was working two jobs (accounts receivable clerk by day, cashier at Goody's by night) and going out all the other nights, I lost too much weight. I met my current husband in Febuary 1996 just after Valentine's day.
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Chocolate!
2. Salsa and tortillas
3. Cinnibon mini bons
4. Milkshakes
5. Coke floats
Five songs you know all the lyrics to: (only 5?)
1. Half the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge.
2. Most of Madanna's songs.
3. Way too many Disney Princess songs.
4. Enough Reba songs to go hoarse.
5. I would do anything for love by Meatloaf
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Pay off all debts
2. TRAVEL
3. Set up college funds for my babies.
4. Donate to every Animal and Environmental organization I could find. (I'm a closet hippie)
5.
Five bad habits:
1. Nail biting.
2. Talking to myself while working. (But I almost never answer, do I? Nope I don't.)
3. Staying on the computer too much.
4. Junk food!
5. Staying up too late.
Five things you like doing:
1. Doing stuff with my girls.
2. BLOGGING!
3. Reading
4. Going to the movies.
5. Staying up too late.
Five favorite toys:
1. Computer! duh
2. Digital camera
3. My Ipod
4. My new webcam.
5. I don't have enough toys!
This was fun! Hope everyone I tagged enjoys it!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
My new toy!
This is my new toy! Only mine doesn't have that little stand it is sitting on. It has a flexable clip for a flat lcd screen.
The reason I have this nifty little toy is that my husband is changing jobs and he will be going overseas in about a month. He has one for his laptop so me and the girls can chat with him free on the computer. He is going to be gone for a year, maybe two, but he gets to come home for two weeks every three months.
Here is my first picture taken with the webcam:
My daughter's Barbie is filling in for me because I had a bad hair day. The blanket is on the chair because leather is cold! Not to mention one of my cats has a leather fetish. He scratches anything leather or leatherish.
The reason I have this nifty little toy is that my husband is changing jobs and he will be going overseas in about a month. He has one for his laptop so me and the girls can chat with him free on the computer. He is going to be gone for a year, maybe two, but he gets to come home for two weeks every three months.
Here is my first picture taken with the webcam:
My daughter's Barbie is filling in for me because I had a bad hair day. The blanket is on the chair because leather is cold! Not to mention one of my cats has a leather fetish. He scratches anything leather or leatherish.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Happy Birthday Baby!
My Winter Baby!
When she was born (via cesarean) she sucked in fluid when she went to take her first breath. They cleaned and wrapped her up and the nurse brought her to me to kiss, then she was wisked away to the nursery. This was at noon. She had to be under an oxygen hood the rest of the day and they thought they would have to send her the Children's because her oxygen level was too low. Daddy could see her, but I couldn't leave my bed because of dizziness. Late that night when she was the only baby in the nursery, the nurses let big sister go in and talk to her. Her oxygen level jumped! Soon after that it was high enough for them to let her come to me ten hours after she was born. Her oxygen level improved even more after that and by the next morning she was fine. We just had to be extra careful that winter because she was more prone to colds and infections.
It was snowing when we brought her home from the hospital.
Looking cute.
Being silly.
When she was born (via cesarean) she sucked in fluid when she went to take her first breath. They cleaned and wrapped her up and the nurse brought her to me to kiss, then she was wisked away to the nursery. This was at noon. She had to be under an oxygen hood the rest of the day and they thought they would have to send her the Children's because her oxygen level was too low. Daddy could see her, but I couldn't leave my bed because of dizziness. Late that night when she was the only baby in the nursery, the nurses let big sister go in and talk to her. Her oxygen level jumped! Soon after that it was high enough for them to let her come to me ten hours after she was born. Her oxygen level improved even more after that and by the next morning she was fine. We just had to be extra careful that winter because she was more prone to colds and infections.
It was snowing when we brought her home from the hospital.
Looking cute.
Being silly.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Save a horse..
I have once again changed my sidebar. There is the cutest little kitty and more Tinkerbell!
Check out the sequel
If you liked my latest Fiction Friday, Pleasure After Business, then go check out the sequel, Friday's Girl at Chris's blog!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Classic Leading Lady
You scored 14% grit, 28% wit, 42% flair, and 23% class!
Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Link: The Classic Dames Test
Monday, January 02, 2006
Yet another new blog toy
I have added one more blog toy to my sidebar. Check out the awesome little clock just under the fairy. I spend way too much time on this computer!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Resolutions
1. Potty train my toddler. (I'm such a copy-kat. I got this one from Xmichra.)
2. Be nicer to myannoying sweet third-grader.
3. Get in shape! (Time to dig out the Pilates and Yoga tapes)
4. Be happier.
2. Be nicer to my
3. Get in shape! (Time to dig out the Pilates and Yoga tapes)
4. Be happier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)