I'm depressed. It happens from time to time. Usually it only lasts a couple of days. Lately I have been thinking about people who do whatever they want, whenever they want. Dishonest people. People who refuse to follow the rules. Is it just me, or do they seem to be the ones who are happy? Now I don't mean really bad people like murderers. I mean the type of people who lie, cheat, and break little rules to get what they want. Sometimes it is only moral rules they break.
I consider myself an honest person. I'm not a good liar anyway. I follow rules. I do what I am SUPPOSED to do. And yet, I'm the one who is not trusted. Not trusted by those that I don't trust because I have caught them in lies, I know they are dishonest.
It brings back memories of my teen years when I lived with my dad and step-mom. They never trusted me, flat out told me they didn't believe what I was telling them sometimes even though I was telling the truth. It just wasn't what they wanted to hear. I still don't know why. It wasn't like I had been caught lying to them. They just assumed when I moved in that I was a liar. And years later it turned out they were the deceitful ones. The ones with secrets.
I am 33 years old. But sometimes I feel like I am still that girl. Young, confused, alone, empty.
5 comments:
The decietful people aren't happy. They're miserable. You'll notice, they are almost always angry or short-tempered. It's because they know what they are, and are resentful of those who aren't like them.
Sorry to hear about the depression. I usually suffer some level of depression during the winter months. I need sun and vibrant nature to be happy.
Well I knew that you were depressed....even before you admitted it. I am really quite surprised the admission was posted on the INTERNET! LOL!!!! Good for you! As for the liars....well they will get theirs in the end. I believe that with all my heart! Hang in there!
I hate these cycles of depression, I'm usually the happiest guy on the planet but sometimes it just takes a word or action of another and I go deep into the dumps.
I feel these feelings I get are derived from something when I was growing up and then are triggered.
could be what your feeling.
I actually know EXACTLY how you feel. I get down like that when I am reminded of the lies people weave. Generally it is something that i don't care too much about (usually co-workers, or employees who have just lost thier moral compass).. but it reminds me to watch my back.. when you shouldnt' have too. That, and being honest is hard, especially when you are so used to lying for other people. I did a fair amount of that growing up.
I hope you're feeling better by now. I know depression well. And I also try to be a good, honest person. I don't have a good enough memory to be a good liar. Usually when someone doesn't trust you it's because they are hiding something, as you said.
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