Happy Happy Joy Joy

On a more pleasant note, Brianna has her first bike! We bought it yesterday at Wal-Mart. She learned braking (the pedal in reverse kind, not the handle bar kind) in the time it took to go from the toy dept to the garden center. (Yes I let her ride it through the store.) Both girls also needed new helmets and we had to get a tire pump for Tristin's bike. Today we went to the park and rode a little more than half a mile. Well, they rode, I walked/ran depending on how fast Brianna went. She doesn't get too fast yet, still getting used to it. Plus she doesn't always watch where she's going! She almost ran off the pavement while checking out the scenery. But she's doing awesome on it! It's blue, and we bought a little basket for the front of it. I took pictures, and video, hopefully I'll get them posted sometime this week.

Fiction Friday!

Contradictions

Dressed in jeans and sneakers
or heels and pearls.

Cheerful and happy with
shadows dwelling beneath the surface.

Strong and tough exterior.
Tender, easily hurt inside.

Balanced precariously between
sanity and instability.

Lonely yet rejoicing in solitude!

Simple yet complicated.
Intelligent but naive.
Awkward then confident.

This is who she is.

Out of character

Ok, I took a new class at the gym. Zumba! I told you about it. It was AWESOME!!! Yes, with all caps and three exclamation points. I am on such a high when I opened the patio door for fresh air I whooped out loud. Very loudly outloud. That is totally out of character for me.

Loved it! Now to get the gym to schedule more evening classes. I shall annoy the piss out of them till they do. In person, through my trainer, by email!

I like whooping outloud loudly. :)

Out of the rut

Okay, so I'm feeling better and have started by rearranging the living room/playroom so that it is one big family room. I love it, don't know why I didn't think of it before. So I have all this focus and these plans for the whole apartment! Now if I can find the time to implement the plans... lol

Life is challenging to say the least. My ex caused more trouble this week. Over money as usual. After two months of waiting for money he owes me, now it will be longer. I got pissed and called his mom, so some is coming. I'm just so tired of him causing me late fees then saying it's not his fault. He does not grasp that all of the girls medical/dental insurance comes out of my check, plus I have to pay all of Brianna's childcare which is a lot. He has to reimburse me for his part, that's part of child support. So I can't pay some other bills until his check comes.

How hard is that to understand? He keeps saying my rent isn't his problem and my bills aren't his problem. Well yeah, they are a little. A certain percentage of my bills are paid by child support plus the hundreds of dollars out of it that reimburses me. How can he be so smart and so dumb at the same time? The man is an instructor at the Naval EOD school that all branches of the American military uses!

But I'm putting that aside. Just wanted to share the idiodicy of it so you can see how I end up so freaking stressed. It's just frustrating. But for now I'm good. Tonight I'm taking a brand new class at the gym. It's called Zumba. I'm too lazy to link, if you are curious you can Google it. I hope they make it a weekly class. Preferably during a time I can actually attend. lol.

Yesterday Brianna and I went to a park that was new to us. It also has a nice walking/running/biking trail. We walked/jogged at least half a mile ( wasn't paying attention to the markers) from one play area to another and back again. She gets a new bike at the end of this month (not from daddy, from mommy after daddy REIMBURSES her, yes the five year old is learning that word already). I shall post pictures of yesterday when I get them on the computer.

The next couple of Saturdays will be full of festivals! The Dogwood Arts Festival is downtown this weekend with arts/crafts booths. And next weekend is an Italian Festival! Never been, but it sounded interesting. I'm trying to get us out on Saturdays. Just going to work/school and home all the time sucks. lol.

Until later...

Out of Focus

I have been unable to focus on things lately. I'm a little stressed over finances thanks to the King of Asshats, AKA: my Ex. Late is late and is just as bad as not paying, just fyi. But that should be settled soon, hopefully. Perhaps if I annoy him enough he won't get behind again, yes?

In happy news, I received three beautiful necklaces from the talented Xmichra. Go see her stuff, it is all beautiful. I've been meaning to add a link to that and other pages on the sidebar, but haven't. I'm good at making lists, but need to work on implementing them. :) I hopefully will have pictures soon to post of my new jewelry. This from the woman who finally put pictures from Sept and Oct 2004 in a photo album this last weekend...

I have to get organized. I am not as balanced as I apparently appear from the outside. My house is a cluteristic disaster! (Yes, it's a word, or at least it is now. :P) I was still sorting and getting rid of stuff when Tristin moved in. Now we have that extra clutter. Most of storage stuff has been moved, but a lot needs to be sorted before it's moved. And then the kids are both outgrowing toys and clothes and seasonal stuff needs to be put away. Argh!

You see? I need focus. So I shall make a new list and break it down to very small tasks. I get more accomplished if it seems I've done a lot. So the more I can mark off a list, the better I get at it. So tonight, number one on the list is: Find Focus. I can do anything I put my mind to, and my apartment will be neat!

Springtime in East Tennessee

Xmichra posted some pictures of how much snow they still have, so I decided to post pictures of my flowers.

These planters "guard" the entry way onto my porch from our sliding door and the stairs to other patios.








And we go around for the tour of the porch...









Tulips, marigolds, and daisies! Oh my!

(And my lil gnome.)







The sage and Italian oregano is returning just fine, but no sign of new growth from the rosemary.








The purple stuff smells AWESOME!










Spring feet!
(Brianna's)


















Brianna found these broken off at the garden center and gave them to me. :)








From a scavenger hunt the girls played.

Bad Dreams

I had a horrible dream last night, or really early this morning. And I can recall it rather vividly even though I've tried to forget. It isn't all clear, but at some point I am part of this group. A small group at first, then a bunch more people are added. We are going to rob something maybe? And it's weird that there are so many of us. It makes me remember another dream I had months ago, but only vaguely. Like this is the same group of people as in the old dream.

So at some point we are out behind the large building we have been in. There is a plane laying in the field at the edge of the woods. One little blonde girl is there, and me and two others are going to take her to safety and look for more survivors. But then I turn to the left and there is a little dog house with several puppies inside. They are dead, sliced in half. It was so vividly horrible! At that point the others know who did it and are afraid the person is still around and start running, I follow barely keeping up.

The dream kind of moved on after that, and I remember bits. But that part was the freaky-stick-in-my-head part. And I'm in such a horrible mood because of it!

And...

I finally finally finished a blanket for Brianna. I bought the material before she was born! lol. It is not quilted, I used yarn at intervals to hold the layers together. It's a tad thicker than a quilt. I did hand stitch the sides, I hate sewing machines.

While Resting...

I have finished a couple of craft projects. The first one was to put a lining in some curtains I had made a while back. They are hanging in Brianna's room.




The second was to decorate a shirt for Brianna. I am rather pleased at the result.




Now I'm going to post a picture of the awesome breakfast I made us this morning. Scrambled eggs, cinnamon toast, and fruit. Tristin and I had the berries, but Brianna opted for the last apple instead. I did put a bit of splenda/sugar mix (it's a bit cheaper than straight splenda, but still a lot better than plain sugar) on Tristin's berries and just on my blackberries. I like my strawberries plain.

Roller Coaster Day

Wednesday was very much a roller coaster of events. It started on the down end when I tried to put a skirt on that I hadn't worn in a while. Nearly two years ago I wore it all the time. I couldn't even begin to zip it...

...so I put on some slacks. I needed to dress nicer than usual to go to a seminar at the Marriott downtown. This was definitely an up. Something different to do, I always learn something new when I go, and it included a free continental breakfast...

...but they didn't have very much fruit. Some honeydew and cantaloupe slices. Very few strawberries and blueberries added for garnishment. I like cantaloupe, but wanted more berries. They had way more fruit last year. And a bigger room, more tables, etc. Damn economy. So another down...

...then I saw that they had Chamomile tea! Revolution Golden Chamomile Herbal Tea. Very awesome. I had two cups. :) I stayed fairly up for the rest of the day at work. I was pretty busy since the first half of the day was at the seminar. Then home and on to the gym. I love the gym. I love workouts with my trainer. But then...

...my ankle gave out during an exercise. I landed on my left foot then BAM, my ass hit the floor. It hurt terribly for about thirty seconds...

...then it was fine, just a little tender so we finished my workout. The rest was focused on upper body anyway. It was a really good work out and I felt good...

...until later that night when I could barely walk on my left foot. :( I iced and elevated it and it felt a little better the next morning. Today it's just a little sore and I'm sticking with rest until Sunday.

I do not like roller coaster days. I prefer smooth sailing. But things work out for a reason. Apparently I needed a couple of days rest and my body decided to tell me the hard way. :/

Things

At night, when I'm going to sleep I think of a million things to blog about. In the car too, anywhere actually until I sit down with the computer. Then I'm blank. The words just fizzle away. I think I need to go back to keeping a spiral notebook handy to write in. Then I can just transfer it later.

I do want to say this: I'm shrinking. Not in height, but everywhere else. They tell women that once you have children, or get over thirty, or both that you will naturally become larger in a few places. Breast, hips, tummy, thighs. It's natural and you should just accept it and move on. I call bullshit. I'm shrinking folks! My bras are too big! My legs are thinner! My stomach is slowly shrinking as well! I'm toning in places I didn't even realize had extra padding! It was sort of a slow overall gain. I love the gym, and I love the changes. I'm sure my diet changes are part of it too. It's been three weeks since I gave up sodas. I let myself have a can of coke about a week ago as a treat. But that's it. One in three weeks. This from the girl that would have a couple a DAY not so long ago.

Well, that's all I have for today. Except this, and I must warn you that most will not know what it means. Maybe none of you will. Some of you will guess, and may or may not be right. I won't go into explanations. It is just something I realized and wanted to "say" outloud even if nobody gets it.

I've outgrown you.

Well I was gonna...

...post something tonight, but my laptop was having technical difficulties. Now that I've wasted fifteen minutes fighting with it, I really don't have time to post. Maybe tomorrow...

Damn Carbs

So I've been reading a little more and I knew the carbs were going to have to be cut down, but I was clueless as to what all they are in! Even my yogurt has too many! I googled the lite version of it though, and it was ok. I also think I'm going to have to cut out sodas completely. I've cut back enormously the last half year or so. But maybe none. Or maybe just very limited, like a weekly treat or something. This is hard!

I'm just going to wing it for now, and in three months when I get re-tested I'll see if more changes need to be made or what.

And my life flashed before my eyes...

...or at least all the cheeseburgers I've eaten did. That's what happened this morning when I found out that my cholesterol is moderately high. And my uhhh...triglycerides are even higher! And I didn't even know what that was!

Let me start at the beginning. Last week I took my skinny eleven year old for her shots and checkup. They found her cholesterol is moderately high. Not worrisome, but changes needed to be made. Skip fried stuff at least most the time, and go from 2% to 1% milk. Also increased physical activity, but we were already working on that since she's moved back in. That was the doctor's recommendation. But as skinny, and fairly active as she is, I wondered if it was the hereditary kind so I had mine checked. Apparently it is.

So now I'm supposed to watch cholesterol, trans fat, and sugar. Or something like that. I seriously considered vegetarianism for a bout five minutes. But then decided it would probably be a good idea to do vegetarian meals maybe half the week. Can't hurt! I ordered a magazine subscription to read up on it. If I'm going to do it, I'd better do it right.

I did decide almost immediately that red meat is out. Period. And I don't think my levels are really high enough to have to do that, but that's what I felt I needed to do. I go on feelings a lot, and this is where I'm going. I am also adding fish to our diet more regular. Salmon and tuna were recommended for their high levels of omega 3, I think I got that worded right. There's so much I have to read up on!

I'm supposed to get mine checked again in three or four months. So, with the diet changes added to joining the gym a couple weeks ago, I will see what progress is made. If more changes need to be made then I will. I also asked if I should be tested for long term effects, but the nurse said they checked my liver...something...levels and all seems to be well there.

So I reinvent myself a little once again. Not completely, just a little morphing. But all is good. :)

The One Where I Ramble a Lot

One of my all-time favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice. I get so caught up in Elizabeth trying to decipher the personality of Mr. Darcy. It is also full of interesting dialog. I have to confess that I have never read the book. I've tried twice so far, I just can't get through the first couple of chapters.

Another one of my favorite movies is You've Got Mail. Which is interesting because one of the lead characters, Kathleen, talks about the book Pride and Prejudice more than once. The last few times I've watched it I also noticed parallels between the lead characters of both movies. I found that interesting.

Last Friday night I started a Beginning Yoga class. I loved it! I plan to go back each Friday. That gives me three days a week at the gym. Twice with a trainer, and once in yoga. Once I'm more used to it and not so sore between sessions, I will try to pop in for just a quick cardio one or two other days a week. Those just depend on the week. If I'm active away from the gym I won't. If I binge on cake I will. You get the idea. ;)

I took the girls out for Chinese last week. We had a good time, being inappropriately cheerful because the place wasn't crowded. Fortune cookie time was interesting. Tristin's said something about someone watching her from afar. She was tickled at first until I pointed out that it could be a warning for her to stop doing things she shouldn't. Brianna's said "Your lost possession will be found within the month." As it turns out she has a particular toy we can't find. I hope it turns up.

Then I started to read mine. Now we had been giggling over a cute guy not long before this, so I started off with "That hot guy is in love with you." Tristin cracks up, which was my intention. Then I actually read what mine says "Others appreciate your good sense of humor today." Well that was right on the money, wasn't it?

Found at Xmichra's

I am a Daisy What Flower Are You?

"You are just a sweet person. When a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, you are happy to offer yours with a box of tissues as well. Once in awhile, you wish you could be a little more dramatic but then sensibility sets back in and you know that you are perfect the way you are."

The One Where I Ramble a Little

Tonight I had my second training session. I am so sore! My abs hurt for two days after my first session. Tonight it's my thighs that are hurting. But I love my trainer! He's so comfortable to be with, and very patient. I don't dread going to the gym. I was nervous the first time, and a tad nervous this time, but more excited than nervous. And I saw the little hottie that first signed me up. That boy could have sold me the Brooklyn Bridge. ;) He did impress me by recognizing me and asking how I liked it. Most salesmen, which he basically is, completely forget you as soon as you have finished the sale.

It is no secret I am addicted to primetime. I have found a new show that's really awesome. Lie to Me, Wednesday nights at nine on Fox. It has Tim Roth in it (Incredible Hulk, Reservoir Dogs). He is delightfully anti-social. Sort of reminds me of Dr. House, only a little nicer. :)

The show brings science into seeing if someone is lying. If they had that class in college, I would have taken it and sat on the front row! I abhor liars. I don't understand lying and deception. Which unfortunately makes it easier for people to deceive me.

This show is awesome, check it out.