Yesterday we finally got our English test back from two and a half weeks ago. Our regular teacher had been out for foot surgery. Anyway, I got an A! And I was so sure I had bombed it badly, but I didn't. :) We turned in our first big essay project yesterday and I should have a grade back on it in a week or so.
I called in sick to work for tonight. It's only my third day on the job. I tried to get off Saturday, but went in late and still felt I was about to die. The manager said she desperately needed me, so I went in. They rewarded me by putting me in the largest department in the store, alone. With almost no training. Nice. Luckily another guy that works there helped me out. He was working the Mens dept. which was easy since we hardly had any men shopping (football time in Tennessee that night). So today although my cold is mostly gone, I feel lightheaded and occasionally dizzy. I went ahead and called in. If they give me grief when I go back I'm going to share with the store manager how little the lazy ass manager who was on duty Saturday night helped me.
I feel so disoriented today. Not just being sick, but the girls were with their dad all weekend at his parents house and he was here yesterday while I was in school instead of my mom. I don't know, everything just feels wierd. I'm not used to being away from my kids a couple of days at a time. I missed them, but it was kind of nice to get a break too. Everything is so different now with school and the new job. It wasn't that long ago that my whole life pretty much revolved around taking care of my kids. Now I feel disconnected. We have no regular schedule now because of this new job of mine. And it's hard to see the end result. That in a couple of years I'll be done with school and can get a fulltime job hopefully with daytime hours, and normal weekends. Little B will be nearly old enough for school by then. I feel like I'm not giving her enough of me. I'm just in a weird place right now I guess.
4 comments:
It's no fun being in weird places but at least you know the end result will be worth it for sure. Just keep that in mind. :)
If it is any consolation I am feeling in a really odd place too. I think it is due to the change in seasons, although I'm sure where you are right now is a whole lot sunnier than England! :)
Just remember this: If you don't take care of you as well, you won't be able to give them the best. I learned that the hard way, but fortunately it didn't involve kids.
Change is always unsettling and the weirdest feeling is giving to ourselves, which, as Mr G says, is so improtant. You are a remarkably courageous woman with such spirit. You deserve some down time and certainly you deserve to be valued.
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