Something Funny

A grade school teacher in Mississippi asked her students to use the
word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family
went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was
fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the
word "fascinate, not fascinating".

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the museum & they
were fascinated by all the different paintings on the wall. The teacher
said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate."

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had
been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he
could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My
aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only
fasten eight."

The teacher cried.

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Man Jokes

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and pass gas.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Make sure you go check out the video on my sidebar. Alcohol by Brad Paisley, it's hilarious!